I am currently in the hospital at Hopkins and am unable to write the blog update posts that I would like to, so I am just going to copy and paste the updates I have been putting on Facebook over the past few days. Sorry it's not pretty, but I thought something was better than nothing.
So grateful for you all!
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Monday, January 14, 2013
Hi friends,
I'm heading to the ER at Hopkins with a damaged PICC line and potential infection. The line will likely have to be replaced and potentially moved to the other arm. There is a strong possibility I will be given IV antibiotics to prevent sepsis. And I may end up being admitted. This is honestly not something I want to face right now and I feel awful, but I know God has gone before me.
Thank you for praying, especially related to the antibiotics which could present complications for my liver, etc.
When I am afraid, I will trust in You. -Psalm 56:3
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Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Hi friends,
Thank you so much for praying for me. I cannot tell you just how much I have felt your prayers. A lot has happened since I arrived at Hopkins, but to bring you right up to speed, I am currently being treated for a blood infection that could be staph or something else. The cultures are still growing, so they have yet to determine the actual strain. My PICC line has been removed, and an ultrasound revealed an abscess in my right arm but they think it should eventually resolve.
I was moved to a room at 2am this morning, and it has been a pretty challenging environment, but the nurses are kind. They began IV antibiotics on me last night and switched to a stronger antibiotic early this evening once they discovered the bacteria in the blood. I don't have a fever, and my arm is looking a little better, but they don't want to take any chances. The new antibiotic is quite strong and difficult to tolerate but so far I've only had it once.
The biggest mountain ahead is how to handle my nutrition. They are unable to put in another PICC line until I've recovered more and would like me to use my g-tube for formula. This would be much preferable except for my condition of gastroparesis which means that my stomach stays full and is slow to empty. God has been so faithful to sustain me and carry me through the darkest moments, but it is truly a struggle. My symptoms are quite difficult, and it can be even harder to communicate them to the doctors who don't seem know what to make of me. Even so, God is working out His good and perfect plan.
I was incredibly blessed to have a visit from dear Ariel this afternoon and evening. She helped me to persevere and remember that God is at work in all of this and He often allows the enemy to APPEAR to be winning for a time so that when His deliverance comes it is all the more glorious. Oh, that He might help me to hold on and trust Him, even in these dark and confusing days. His light STILL shines. He IS good. And He HAS overcome.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for praying for me. It is the most precious gift. Love you all.
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Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Hi friends,
Well, today has been full. This morning I had an echocardiogram to make sure that the infection hasn't damaged my valves. I don't have results yet, but it's likely fine since I haven't heard anything otherwise. The doctors confirmed that I have a staph infection in my bloodstream, but they weren't sure what type, so they are continuing me on vancomycin for now just to be safe. The encouraging thing is that I don't have a raging fever or extremely low WBC, but it's still quite serious so they have to continue the IV antibiotics and told me I can expect to be on them for anywhere from 4-10 weeks. I will have to have a new PICC line inserted in my left arm which will be used for continuing the IV antibiotics at home, but they cannot put it in until they have blood cultures which haven't grown anything in 24-48 hours, and those were just taken this morning.
(I know this is a lot of detail, so if you're not interested in all of it, just skip on down.)
Tomorrow they will do another ultrasound of my right arm to see if the abscess is still present. The most challenging hurdle that is awaiting me is what to do about nutrition. It is not advised to return to TPN feeding through the new PICC because of the risk of continued infections, so they would like me to have a J-tube placed asap and begin tube feedings as my source of nutrition. This is the way I was fed for over a year but I had it removed this past August because I was no longer tolerating it.
So basically, I don't have any "good" options. To return to TPN presents large risk, and it was only meant to be a temporary measure in the first place. To return to J-tube feedings could mean it could fail and/or present a large amount of pain/symptoms, not to mention that my body hasn't had anything in its GI tract for over six months now. The doctors are waiting on me to give them the go-ahead to schedule the procedure to place the tube, and depending on how all that goes and what happens with my blood cultures and PICC line placement for antibiotics will determine when I am actually released.
So right now, prayer for faith to move forward with a decision would be much appreciated and if that is the J-tube (which is most likely) then prayer for a miracle that I could tolerate it without all the strange neurological symptoms I was experiencing this past summer would be even better.
I cannot tell you all just how amazed I am at how your prayers are carrying me through. I am definitely in tears from time to time, but even in the midst of questions and pain I continue to see God's power made perfect in weakness and experience blessing upon blessing.
This evening I was moved to a new unit and a single room which means that I may have a better chance of sleep. I also made a new friend from Brazil (Amanda :o) ), and I have wonderful nurses. Oh, and just before I moved to my new room I heard my roommate's husband reading her 1 Peter 1, and it encouraged me.
The way ahead is unclear and steep, but I have a Friend who knows the way and is the best possible Guide.
So grateful to Him for each of you!
______________________________
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. - Romans 8:18
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Thursday, January 17, 2013
Hi everyone,
It has been a blessing to be in a private room, but last night sleep was limited to about 30 minutes due to all the goings and comings. God was gracious to give me the strength to go down for another ultrasound this morning and talk with the various doctors who came by today.
Praise Reports:
- The echocardiogram results showed that my heart was not affected by the staph infection.
- The second ultrasound from today showed that the abscess had decreased in size.
- My second set of blood cultures are not growing anything after 24 hours, so that's a good sign that the antibiotics were effective.
- I am thanking God I just made it through somewhere around 14 tubes (most large) of blood...wasn't quite prepared to give that much away right now. :)
This evening my antibiotic was switched to something a little less intense than vancomycin, and I was told that I would be on it for at least four weeks. Right now infusions are every four hours, but I am hoping that this could change when I go home, as it's definitely a bit difficult to do an infusion six times a day/night.
Tomorrow, I am scheduled to have a J-tube placed at 2pm, and they will start feeding formula shortly thereafter. If the team who places the PICC line for my antibiotics is available tomorrow then they will do that as well, and I could be released Saturday, but it is looking more likely that they won't get to me until Monday. We'll see....
So, that's where things are at right now. Today has honestly been one of the most challenging due to the lack of sleep and intensity of my ongoing symptoms. It has been difficult to face the reality that tomorrow means going under for a procedure and a return to 24-7 continuous feeds, being attached to a pump, having formula that makes me sicker and that my body doesn't do well with, and I would go on, but I am choosing to stop myself here because I'm realizing that dwelling on any of these things and on the possibility that this won't work is not going to bring faith or life. It is true that it may not work or that it may be extremely difficult, but it is even MORE true that God is greater than ALL of this, that He knows exactly what He is doing, and that it is ALL working out according to His perfect, perfect, perfect purposes and plan. I am speaking this to myself right now as I type these words.
Thank you so much for your continued prayers. They are holding me up even as I am stumbling along in this darkness. So grateful that He knows the way that I take, even if I feel completely blind right now.
There is more I could say, but I know these posts are turning out to be quite longwinded, so I will try to wrap it up. I'll end with the positive, how's that? :)
I was so blessed this afternoon by a visit from my pastors and friends, Braden and Isaac, along with dear Helen. And Paula also drove all the way up to see me and helped me find chairs for everyone. They made me laugh, read Scripture, prayed for me, and hung up my white icicle lights on the wall. Helen took me on a walk and gave me a shoulder to lean on. Then my parents came by later in the day even though they had so many other responsibilities. Amanda, my new friend, stopped by to say hello on her way out, and it was so nice to see her. My nurses have been very gracious and kind to me, and I ran into the husband of my previous roommate in the elevator today and got to thank him for reading 1 Peter last night. There are ALWAYS evidences of God's care all around if we just look for them. Keep reminding me of that when I fail to do it (as I was doing at so many points today). :) Thank you, friends! God is not finished yet.
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For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from HIM comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. - Psalm 62:2
Praise Reports:
- The echocardiogram results showed that my heart was not affected by the staph infection.
- The second ultrasound from today showed that the abscess had decreased in size.
- My second set of blood cultures are not growing anything after 24 hours, so that's a good sign that the antibiotics were effective.
- I am thanking God I just made it through somewhere around 14 tubes (most large) of blood...wasn't quite prepared to give that much away right now. :)
This evening my antibiotic was switched to something a little less intense than vancomycin, and I was told that I would be on it for at least four weeks. Right now infusions are every four hours, but I am hoping that this could change when I go home, as it's definitely a bit difficult to do an infusion six times a day/night.
Tomorrow, I am scheduled to have a J-tube placed at 2pm, and they will start feeding formula shortly thereafter. If the team who places the PICC line for my antibiotics is available tomorrow then they will do that as well, and I could be released Saturday, but it is looking more likely that they won't get to me until Monday. We'll see....
So, that's where things are at right now. Today has honestly been one of the most challenging due to the lack of sleep and intensity of my ongoing symptoms. It has been difficult to face the reality that tomorrow means going under for a procedure and a return to 24-7 continuous feeds, being attached to a pump, having formula that makes me sicker and that my body doesn't do well with, and I would go on, but I am choosing to stop myself here because I'm realizing that dwelling on any of these things and on the possibility that this won't work is not going to bring faith or life. It is true that it may not work or that it may be extremely difficult, but it is even MORE true that God is greater than ALL of this, that He knows exactly what He is doing, and that it is ALL working out according to His perfect, perfect, perfect purposes and plan. I am speaking this to myself right now as I type these words.
Thank you so much for your continued prayers. They are holding me up even as I am stumbling along in this darkness. So grateful that He knows the way that I take, even if I feel completely blind right now.
There is more I could say, but I know these posts are turning out to be quite longwinded, so I will try to wrap it up. I'll end with the positive, how's that? :)
I was so blessed this afternoon by a visit from my pastors and friends, Braden and Isaac, along with dear Helen. And Paula also drove all the way up to see me and helped me find chairs for everyone. They made me laugh, read Scripture, prayed for me, and hung up my white icicle lights on the wall. Helen took me on a walk and gave me a shoulder to lean on. Then my parents came by later in the day even though they had so many other responsibilities. Amanda, my new friend, stopped by to say hello on her way out, and it was so nice to see her. My nurses have been very gracious and kind to me, and I ran into the husband of my previous roommate in the elevator today and got to thank him for reading 1 Peter last night. There are ALWAYS evidences of God's care all around if we just look for them. Keep reminding me of that when I fail to do it (as I was doing at so many points today). :) Thank you, friends! God is not finished yet.
------------------------------
For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from HIM comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken. - Psalm 62:2
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