A Health Update

It has been over a month since I've updated you all on my health progress, and I have some wonderful things to report. I know that these improvements are the direct result of your prayers. All glory belongs to the Lord for His faithfulness and for the healing that He is working in me, day by day.

Praise God that I…

…have been able to gain at least 16 pounds from my lowest point and half of this has taken place in the past month.

…have seen an incredible change in my overall strength and ability to function throughout the day.

…have experienced improvement with many of my digestive/GI symptoms.

…have been able to take in a growing number of calories each day and continue to eat dairy (although I've switched to goat rather than cow). =)

…haven't caught the flu or any other bugs that have been going around.

…my recent labwork continues to show a strengthening immune system and nothing else of concern.

…have been carried to this point by a God whose promises do not fail!

You can pray that I…

…would be able to tolerate treatment for the coinfections that come with the Lyme disease. I am beginning that treatment this Monday and could expect increased symptoms by the end of the week and following.

…would be given wisdom and help as I walk through the daily battle of figuring out what to eat and the best way to approach timing, portion sizes, etc. I love food, but it does grow burdensome when I try to encompass what is healthy, high in calories, digestible, and appetizing all at once.

…would find my system able to accept more foods and for help with particular symptoms such as slow emptying of the stomach, jittery/shaking that I've come to experience daily over the past month, and neurological symptoms that can be especially difficult to tolerate.

...would be able to get on a better schedule with meals and sleep and settle into a routine that works well, promotes healing, and is honoring to the Lord.

…would know peace and the renewal of my mind in God's truth. That I would not fear but would rest in my Father's care at all times and that my eyes would be fixed on Christ and not the waves.

…would be given increased faith as well as wisdom to know how God would have me spend the moments of each day.

I know each of you would be encouraged if you saw me now. You can visibly see the difference. My clothes are starting to fit a little better, and I can go up and down stairs again without help. God is bringing me out of the pit and setting my feet on solid ground, yet I can easily lose sight of how much He has done when faced with the daily ups and downs of symptoms and the battles that still must be fought. Certain symptoms can definitely be more difficult to endure, but He has never allowed me more than I can bear.

As I sit here writing, I cannot help but think of my dear friend, Amy, who is now free from all pain and rejoicing in her Savior's presence. She wrote a poem that I have taped to my wall where I can see it every day. I want to share it with you all, for it beautifully expresses the preciousness of the hope we've been given in way I could not:

There's substance that's casting these shadows
There's reason behind all this pain
All gold is made pure by refining
And plants cannot grow without rain

He's promised to hold you and keep you
He's told you that he's always there
His Word says He'll never forsake you
Or test you past what you can bear

So trust in Him all through this darkness
Hold fast to the truth of His Word
Be certain of His gracious promise
And rest in Christ Jesus our Lord

For one day all pain shall be broken
Renewed shall be joy that was lost
All death, pain and fear have been conquered
Because of His death on the cross

Earlier this week, another dear family in my church lost their husband and father. How my heart longs for the day when I will be able to see Amy and John once again, but in the meantime, their lives have challenged me to ask myself, do I truly know God? I want to know Him the way Amy and John did. They lived lives surrendered to their King because they were amazed at His mercy. Amazed that He would send His Son to die for them. They both could say with the apostle Paul, "for me to live is Christ and to die is gain" (Philippians 1:21). Death was gain to them because it meant they would be with Christ, and that is what their hearts longed for most. The wonderful thing is that if you don't know Christ as they did, both Amy and John would say "you can!" He delights to show His mercy and grace to all who call upon Him.

"Seek the LORD while He may be found; call upon Him while He is near; let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that He may have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon. - Isaiah 55:6-7

"I love the LORD, because He has heard my voice and my pleas for mercy. Because He inclined His ear to me, therefore I will call on Him as long as I live. The snares of death encompassed me; the pangs of Sheol laid hold on me; I suffered distress and anguish. Then I called on the name of the LORD: 'O LORD, I pray, deliver my soul!'

Gracious is the LORD, and righteous; our God is merciful. The LORD preserves the simple; when I was brought low, He saved me. Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you." -Psalm 116:1-7

Thank you all for your prayers and offers to visit. I miss so many of you and look forward to the day when I can sit down with you and rejoice together in all He has done.

She Built Her Life on the Rock

This evening, I finally came to the last unopened birthday card. This card was a precious gift to me tonight, for the young woman who wrote it is no longer on this earth. Last night, Amy Calderone went Home to be with the Savior she loved so dearly and whose Face she could not wait to see. Just over a month ago, she suffered a sudden brain aneurysm that left her unresponsive and on life support. All who knew and loved Amy held out hope that she would return to us but knew there was no guarantee.

Amy was a source of great encouragement and support to me over the past year. Her life was marked by a deep compassion and love for other people that flowed out of her love for God. Though ten years younger than me, she took time to care for me in numerous ways and became a dear friend. She continually filled my inbox with scriptures and sweet truths and was always ready to take a walk with me around our small neighborhood. I'll never forget those walks together or the great bear hugs she gave. I miss her so already. Amy loved to think about Heaven. It was a Real Place for her. Though she was blessed with an incredible family and friends who loved her dearly, her greatest joy was knowing that one day she would arrive Home where she would see her Savior face-to-face, the One who had given His life for her. Now that desire has been fulfilled. Amy is free. Home. Safe. Rejoicing forever.

This past Sunday, my pastor, Joshua Harris, preached a message from Luke 6:46-49 which relates the story of two men – one who built his house on the sand and one who built his house on the rock. A great storm came and washed away the house built on sand, but the house built on the rock stood secure. "We are all building our lives on something," Josh said and asked us to consider if the foundation on which we are building is one that will withstand any storm. It is so easy to build our lives on things that can be swept away in a moment – our family, relationships, money, a job, the esteem of others. I am sure you could add your own items to the list. It's a sobering thought. Most of us assume that we're "rock people." We go to church, know every Bible story, and may even have Christian parents and friends, so we must be safe, right? But, it's possible to be immersed in Christian culture yet not actually have ever come to Christ for ourselves. It is possible to know everything about God but not truly know God. It's possible to think you're built on the Rock and really be built on the sand.

Then, when the storm comes to the house built on the sand it is completely ruined. But if you are built upon the Rock, you have one thing that can never be taken away from you - the love of Christ. The storms may tear away everything else you hold dear, but you will never be separated from His love. The only way to build your life upon the Rock is to come to Jesus yourself. Amy knew this. She built her life upon the Rock. And she was not disappointed. Now, her incredible family is enduring the dark storm of loss, yet even in the midst of the winds and waves they are standing firm upon the Rock of Christ.

Amy closed her card to me with the words from 2 Corinthians 4:16-18: "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." At only 19 years old, she knew how fleeting life is – how quickly it is gone. She was looking forward to the "eternal weight of glory" that lay ahead of her. Oh, that we would do the same. Thank you, Amy. You have left us a treasure. I know if you could speak to us right now, you'd ask us "what are you building your life on?" May we all build our lives on the only Rock that can hold us up, just as you did.

A Christmas Reflection

I had planned to post this at Christmas but didn't feel well enough to complete it in time. I am posting today, which is actually Epiphany or Twelfth Night. It seems somewhat fitting, as the word "epiphany" means "appearance" or "manifestation," and Epiphany is a celebration of the realization of the actual identity of that little Baby born so long ago.

Need and weakness. Those are words I have come to identify with in ways I had not anticipated over the past year. No one aspires to be weak. No one likes to be in need. Facing our own inadequacy is not pleasant. But if we've lived more than a day, we have likely discovered just how prone we are to weakness and need.

This morning I awoke with a line from the well-loved carol, "O Holy Night," running through my head: "He knows our need, to our weakness is no stranger…." These words of reassurance offered me comfort and also much to consider. Who is this "He" who truly knows our weakness and our need? This tiny Baby lying in a feeding trough for cattle? Could God, Himself, be made so helpless, dependent, vulnerable? He has never needed anything. How can Strength, Itself, know weakness or clothe itself with the restrictions of human flesh? And why? The One who flung the very stars into existence now in need of food, clothing, a mother's arms? Impossible, or so it seems. Songwriter, Chris Rice, beautifully captures this union of weakness and strength in his song, "Welcome to Our World":

Fragile finger sent to heal us
Tender brow prepared for thorn
Tiny heart whose blood will save us
Unto us is born
Unto us is born

This little baby would grow up to heal the sick, help the weak, care for the outcast. And He would do so walking our broken world, living homeless, tasting sickness, tears, weariness, hunger, and finally death itself. He would become our Savior on every level – in the fullest sense of the word. The One Who needed nothing became needy in order to meet our need.

One day, those gentle hands would be pierced through with nails. That kind brow would be torn with cruel thorns. That perfect heart would pour out its blood. This was His purpose. This was why He came. Yet His suffering reached greater depths than the horrors of crucifixion. Scripture tells us that He was made to be sin for us. He was separated from His Father, suffering all His holy anger against sin. Why? For us. So that we might be rescued from the worst suffering imaginable –separation from our Maker – separation from Joy, and Light, and Love Itself. His arms are stretched open to us now because they were once stretched open upon a cross. How comforting is the assurance that if we belong to Him, no sorrow can ultimately crush us, for He was crushed in our place.

This past year has taught me about weakness in ways I would not have chosen. Being weak without someone to lean on is scary. Being weak and leaning on someone who cannot identify with weakness is also scary. But we can lean on One Who is no stranger to our weakness.“For we have not a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). Whatever you are facing in this New Year, He stands ready to embrace you. He poured out His very blood for you. The book of Hebrews tells us that “surely it is not angels He helps, but Abraham’s descendants.”

This great God entered our world as a little Baby and became a Man, being made like us in every way so that He could bear away the guilt of our sins, be our Substitute, and stand before God, His Father, pleading our case and forever securing a Home for us with Himself. Someone once put it this way, "Into such a world of need, into such a world as ours, God whispered His profound love. And He whispers it yet today." Today, wherever you find yourself, may you hear that whisper of love from One who not only knows the path you take but has walked it before you and now waits to walk it beside you.

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Why Did He Choose the Cross?

In order to answer this question, we must begin with Who God is and who we are. He is Holy, perfect, pure. As our Creator, He can tell us how we ought to live and does so out of love, knowing our greatest happiness and fulfillment is found in right relationship to Him. But rather than accepting it, each of us has chosen to reject His loving rule and instead be our own rulers. The Bible calls this sin. And it is responsible for all the brokenness, pain, and suffering we see in our lives and the world around us.

We are sinners who have rejected His rule. We were created to dwell with God, but sin has separated us from Him. God must judge our sin or He would not be just and holy. His judgment upon our sin is death and an eternity in Hell. In doing so, He gives us that for which we have asked – separation from Him and the right to rule our own lives. If this was where the story ended, our hopeless existence would be but misery.

He could have left us without hope, cut off with no way to return to Him, and awaiting certain judgment. Instead, He sent Jesus, His Son, to be our Substitute. Jesus perfectly submitted to His Father's rule in every area that we had rebelled and willingly went to that cross where He suffered the agony of His Father's anger against sin. He took God's justice upon Himself because none of us could have borne it. Only a perfect Man could be our substitute. 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, "For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God." Jesus took our sin and gave us His perfection. Dying in our place, Jesus bore the penalty for sin and completely satisfied the required payment for sin that our holy and just God requires. No one else could have done this. We could never do enough good deeds to earn it. We could never be good enough. A sinless sacrifice was required. God Himself provided that sacrifice in giving up His only Son to die in our place. "For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that He might bring us to God" (I Peter 3:18).

But He didn't stay on that cross. God raised Him to life again, demonstrating His acceptance of His Son's perfect sacrifice in our stead. Now all who turn from their sins and rely on the death of Christ in their place are given forgiveness, freedom, new life, and the promise of spending an eternity with God amidst the joys and splendors of Heaven, free of all sorrow, brokenness, and pain.

This is why He chose the cross. To rescue us from an eternity of separation from the God who made us and loves us. He knew it was the only way to bring us Home. Back to the One for Whom we were made. The One from Whom all joy and satisfaction and delight flow. Hebrews 12:2 says that He "endured the cross" "for the joy that was set before Him." He chose it even though it meant suffering of a kind no man could ever measure. He did it for you. And for me.

(If you'd like to read more about what He has done, visit Two Ways to Live.)

Christmas Update 2010

Dear friends,

I know Christmas is past, but you are all so dear to me that I decided it was still worth writing. As many of you know, this past year has been one of great weakness and struggle due to my health, but it has also held many precious gifts. I am currently undergoing treatment for chronic Lyme disease while fighting to deal with the digestive issues and a multitude of other symptoms that it has produced. I am making steady progress, although it can be hard to discern from day to day.

Throughout the hardest moments I have been upheld and carried by your prayers and the faithfulness of my God who has never forsaken me. I know He will carry me through this valley. As He causes me to learn to lean harder upon Him, my prayer is that I would know Him better on the other side. A promise from Isaiah 42:16 has been a wonderful encouragement to me during this time – "And I will lead the blind in a way that they do not know, in paths that they have not known I will guide them. I will turn the darkness before them into light, the rough places into level ground. These are the things I do, and I do not forsake them." He has done this again and again. And I can trust Him to continue to do this with each new challenge that comes.

Some of the sweetest blessings that have come my way this past year center around family and friends. This past fall, Christin, a dear college friend, flew all the way from California to help care for me, make meals, read with me, and just be there. What a gift. It has been a blessing to continue to live at home with my family, even as the numbers in the household have begun to decrease a bit. This past May, David, one of my five younger brothers, graduated from UVA with a B.A. in International Relations and spent the summer at home. He recently moved back to Charlottesville, Virginia to take a civilian job with the military. I miss him! My two younger sisters, Tiffany and Laura, also moved out at the end of the summer and have been sharing an apartment nearby. The male-female ratio in the house has drastically changed in their absence, but it has been good having them nearby. Daniel still lives at home and continues to press on through his own health challenges. I've learned a lot from his perseverance. And at 17, Nathan continues to be sustained by God through his seizures and daily suffering. He is an amazing boy, a precious gift, and dearly loved.

At almost 13 and 15, my two youngest brothers, Robert and Michael, are growing up so quickly. They have become dear friends and have served me heroically during this season of weakness. God truly knew just how much my family would need them when he chose to give them to us. My parents have poured out a tremendous amount of time, energy, and resources in caring for me over the past year, as my ability to care for my needs decreased. It has been such a gift to have this care and to grow in my friendship with them.

On September 15^th I had the privilege of becoming a first-time aunt to my precious little nephew, Aiden, who is now just over three months old. Laura has been working hard to care for him, and everyone looks forward to Aiden visits. This past November, Tiffany and Laura surprised me with letters and notes of encouragement from many of you on my 29^th birthday. I have never received so much encouragement at one time and was completely overwhelmed by your care and the number and diversity of people who took the time to send words of hope to me. Thank you.

Everywhere I look there are a multitude of reasons to thank God for His faithfulness and never-failing mercies. One such way is that He has continued to provide for our family and for my medical bills in incredible ways, even as my dad has remained unemployed. It truly is amazing to see His provision and faithfulness to us.

And then there is each of you. You all have been so kind as always, to continue to be faithful friends to me despite my lack of response. Although, I am learning that I cannot promise to stay in touch the way I wish, I do hope that I will get to hear from and interact with many of you in the coming year. Either way, please know that you are dear to my heart, and I pray for you often. I want to leave you with a quote that has given me fresh encouragement as I consider a New Year. "If you need more strength you will have it, be sure of that…your business is with the present; leave the future in His hands who will be sure to do the best, the very best for you."

Thank you for caring for me. I am so honored to call you friends.

With much love,

Charissa

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¹Priscilla Maurice