Hi friends,
So sorry for the long silence. We did go up to Hopkins a few weeks ago, but my doctor was stuck in procedure, so the appointment ended up getting pushed until tomorrow at 12:30. God has continued to keep me and carry me through some incredibly difficult moments. He has enabled me to increase my feeding tube's flow rate and also put on a few pounds. All glory to Him!
Even so, there are still no answers or relief in sight for the complexity of symptoms I am experiencing. There are many moments when taking just one more step feels like the the most impossible of impossibilities. Tonight, it is hard to simply squeeze these words out in the midst of the pain, but I am so aware that every time I want to give up, I have a God who will not let me. He continues to carry me onward and never fails. Never. No matter how many times I fail. And that's a lot! Again and again, I see His hand of sustaining mercy and infinite kindness. He continues to use your prayers to keep me. Thank you so very much.
Tonight, I long to simply rest in Jesus. To know that if I have Him, I have everything. All I need. My body may not be able to rest; I may suffer; I may not know what the next moment holds; my life may be spiraling out of my control, but true reality is that my life has never been in my control. I am in His hands.
He knows the way I take, and I want to wait expectantly for His rescue and deliverance. If you could pray that I would truly know these things in my heart, I would be so grateful. You can also pray for wisdom and clarity for the doctor and my family as we navigate these deep waters. It is difficult to see the way ahead, but I know my God sees clearly and that is enough.
So grateful for each of you. And deeply humbled and blessed by your constant care.
What if, sometimes, there are mists and fogs so thick that I cannot see the path? ‘Tis enough that You hold my hand, and guide me in the darkness; for walking with You in the gloom–is far sweeter and safer than walking alone in the sunlight!Dear Lord, give me grace to trust You wholly, whatever may befall; yielding myself up to Your leading, and leaning hard on You when “dangers are in the path.” Your way for me has been marked out from all eternity, and it leads directly to Yourself and home!" - Susannah Spurgeon
Love you, Charissa, and I will pray for your appointment tomorrow. Your example of simple dependence on the Lord is very inspiring and magnifies Him so much. Remember, you are never alone and never will be.
ReplyDeleteWho shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written,“For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
(Romans 8:35-39)
Thanks for the update Charissa!
ReplyDeletePsalm 139:11-12
"If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you."
Much love to you, sweet Charissa. I continue praying for you, especially at night,when I feel sure the Lord takes special notice and care for you. "...he who keeps you will not slumber." Ps 121:3
ReplyDeletedear Lord, you understand even when I don't. Please help my sister Charissa right now. Be so merciful as to make her know and feel what she believes to be true about you and how close you are!
ReplyDeleteJesus, thank you.
Love you, Charissa! Praying for you. You're always on my heart and in my thoughts.
ReplyDelete"The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,
a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you." Psalm 9:9-10