"As Bright as the Day"

Dear friends-

Is everything dark right now? If so, I want to remind you, as I am even now reminding myself, that even the blackest darkness, the deepest night, the most seemingly hopeless pit is not dark to Him. Today has been one of those days when light was hard to find, yet it is into this darkness that the words of David, the psalmist, offer us incredible hope.

"Even the darkness is not dark to You;

the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You." 

~ Psalm 139:12

I may not see light. I may not see the way ahead. I don't even know what the next moment will bring! But there is One Who does. And for Him "the night is bright as the day." What a hope this brings. The darkness may be all-encompassing, pressing in on every side, suffocating. But He is greater still. The darkness will never overcome Him. It will never overwhelm Him. He will always see, and because He sees us in the midst of our darkness, we can be assured that He will carry us safely through it and back into the light. 

How can I have this assurance? Because His Son, Jesus, tasted the deepest, blackest darkness ever known when He suffered in my place and took my punishment. Once I was separated from God, but now I belong to Him forever, and no darkness can  keep me from Him or from the glories that await me in Heaven.

In the face of all my fears, in the face of the blackest darkness, or the most hopeless of circumstances, I can sing these words from one of my favorite songs: No fear can hold me down // Nor darkness steal my joy // For blood has been poured out // The enemy destroyed.

He has triumphed. The outcome is already secured. May that bring you hope today, regardless of what you see in or around you. "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26).

---------------------------------------------------

Medical Update

Thank you all for your prayers for my Hopkins appointment last Tuesday. I definitely felt them, and God was faithful and kind to carry me through. The appointment was brief (practically five minutes), but clear directions were given. My doctor believes I should continue on my tube feeding at present and not move to TPN - a direct answer to your prayers! He asked me to work on increasing my tube feeding flow rate and said he would consider beginning testing later this month.

Over the past week, I've increased my flow rate a few notches, and God continues to sustain me through the pain and uphill climb. I have had some incredibly difficult days/moments as well as some brighter ones. He is good at all times, but those brighter moments have truly been precious gifts, shining all the brighter against the backdrop of the darkness. And in the midst of it all, I continue to be overwhelmed by your prayers and kindnesses. Thank you.

Praise God for answered prayer:

• No TPN for now.
• Ability to continue to move forward, one moment at a time.
• A gradual increase in weight.
• Daily mercies and kindnesses - more than can be counted!

Here are a few ways to pray:

• Ability to continue to tolerate my current flow rate and increase it.
• Weight gain and alleviation of the pain/complexity of symptoms.
• Wisdom regarding where to continue PT, as my home services are ending this Wednesday.
• Restorative sleep.
• That my immune system would be strengthened (my WBC is currently at one of its lowest points).
• That God would enable me to continue to persevere, especially whenever the next step seems impossible. (I know He will. The battle is just so intense. But He has already won the victory!)
• That He would bring across my path anything that would help put together the pieces of this puzzle and bring healing. 
• Peace and rest of body, mind, and heart.
• That He would be glorified in my great weakness.

"Thank you" just does not seem adequate, but I will say it anyway. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. For every prayer. They are heard. They are answered. They make a difference.

--------------------------------------------

"And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in You." - Psalm 39:7

"For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself.Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many." - 2 Corinthians 1:8-11