Surgery Day

Just wanted to let you know that Charissa is scheduled for surgery this afternoon, sometime after 2, for a small intestine feeding tube. Please pray that she will have the peace of God going into it. God has continued to meet her faithfully, and she has had many evidences of his kindness towards her.

Hopkins Update

Just a brief update to let you know that Charissa had a test this afternoon that is still ongoing this evening. God has definitely sustained her through a test that she was sure she would not be able to attempt. We won't have any results until tomorrow. Charissa would appreciate prayer that she will get sleep tonight. Also pray for all involved in the decision making process regarding the tentative plan to insert a feeding tube tomorrow

Back at Hopkins

There has been a long silence since Charissa's last post. She has been doing poorly over the last month. Charissa wanted us to let you know she had a consultation with a new doctor this afternoon at Hopkins. He admitted her for a test to be done Thursday and possibly inserting a feeding tube into the small intestine on Friday. Given her current condition, this test tomorrow seems "impossible" but she is asking God to make a way for her. Thank you for supporting Charissa with your prayer. She wanted to share this devotional with you all.
(written by her parents)

July 27

More than Mere Words

I wilt give you the sure mercies of David. (Acts 13:34)

Nothing of man is sure; but everything of God is so. Especially are covenant mercies sure mercies, even as David said "an everlasting covenant, ordered in all things and sure."

We are sure that the Lord meant His mercy. He did not speak mere wards: there is substance and truth in every one of His promises. His mercies are mercies indeed. Even if a promise seems as if it must drop through by reason of death, yet it never shall, for the good Lord will make good His word.

We are sure that the Lord will bestow promised mercies on all His covenanted ones. They shall come in due course to all the chosen of the Lord. They are sure to all the seed, from the least of them unto the greatest of them. We are sure that the Lord will continue His mercies to His own people. He does not give and take. What He has granted us is the token of much more. That which we have not yet received is as sure as that which has already come; therefore, let us wait before the Lord and be still. There is no justifiable reason for the least doubt. God's love, and word, and faithfulness are sure. Many things are questionable, but of the Lord we sing—

For his mercies shall endure

Ever faithful, ever sure.

C H Spurgeon

⁵For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
⁶He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
⁷On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Psalm 62: 5-7

Joy in Tight Places

Dear friends,

Once again, I apologize for the silence. Days have been especially tough of late, but there have been a few good ones thrown in the mix. I am writing to let you know that once again, things have taken unexpected turns – the adventure of life, right?

In my previous post, I had mentioned seeing a new doctor. Well, the morning of my appointment he called me unexpectedly and asked a number of questions regarding my medical history, symptoms, and current condition. The bottom line is that he did not feel best positioned to offer me the necessary help, and so the appointment didn’t take place. In the days following, my family and I have been praying about what to do next, while fighting to keep the food going down. My doctors continue to follow me, as well as keep up with regular labs.

When I look at the overall picture, I have definitely come a long way and made progress, but the present digestive challenges I am experiencing have been making it extremely difficult to put almost any kind of food into my system. In God’s kindness, I usually still have a mental appetite, but my body is simply not accepting the food and processing it.

The past few weeks and days have held some of the most difficult battles yet for me in this health journey, but in the face of these real struggles God has reminded me that I have often been in places before where there seemed to be no way through, yet He always made a way. He IS faithful. He IS merciful. He IS good. I must believe these things even in the moments when my symptoms seem insurmountable, and that is only a miracle of mercy. As I am writing these words, the lyrics of this song on the radio are playing:

No matter what, I’m gonna love You // No matter what I’m gonna need You // I know that You can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not, if not, I’ll trust You // No matter what, no matter what. (“No Matter What” by Kerrie Roberts)

This is only possible by His Spirit’s power, and I would humbly ask that you pray that these words would be a reality in my life, no matter what comes. Thank you! If you would like to pray in other ways as well then here are some specifics:

• that God would make HIS way clear in front of me.
• that both I and my parents would be given wisdom, endurance, and grace.
• that I would better learn the balance of living in utter dependence upon my good God, resting in His care for me, while at the same time being proactive and responsible to move forward with daily as well as more far reaching decisions, whether that’s choosing my next meal or what treatments to pursue.
• for ability to eat each meal, meet my calorie minimum (and even my goal) each day, gain weight, and improve overall. (Praise God that I was able to eat late last night and again today after feeling like it was impossible!)
• for God’s good and perfect will to be done.

Thank you all so very much. I am consistently overwhelmed at your care. It is so wonderful to know that He hears our prayers. Yesterday, at church, one of the pastors’ wives encouraged me from Psalm 16 that even as the boundary lines around me seem to be closing in and getting tighter and tighter, there IS joy to be found in the middle of them because God, Himself, is there. This is precious truth. No matter how much is taken way I can say with Job, “blessed be the name of the Lord.” Why? Because having Him equals everything. Life here is so fleeting. We are here today and gone tomorrow. But I was made to know Him, and He has promised to give satisfaction, joy, and fulfillment when I live in right relationship to Him. No sickness can take that away. All other good gifts flow from Him and are good because of Him.

Don’t misunderstand. I believe He desires me to be well and wants me to enjoy life here on this earth. But if I had to spend the rest of my life this sick, or even far worse, it would be okay because I would still have Him. And that is enough. “Because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken” (Psalm 16:8).

Praying that these thoughts somehow encourage you today, wherever you find yourself. As Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.” Father, let us find that rest today in the only place it can be found – in You.

Preserve me, O God, for in You I take refuge. I say to the Lord, “You are my Lord; I have no good apart from You.”

The Lord is my chosen portion and my cup; You hold my lot. The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance.

I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad, and my whole being rejoices; my flesh also dwells secure. For You will not abandon my soul….

You make known to me the path of life; in Your presence there is fullness of joy; at Your right hand are pleasures forevermore. – Psalm 16:1-2, 5-10a, 11

New Prayer Request & Quick Update

Hello friends,

Thank you so much for your prayers. Just wanted to post a quick update, as I’m not able to go into a full one right now. Pressing through in getting the daily nutrition necessary to make progress has definitely been more challenging lately, but God has been so incredibly faithful in the midst of it all. Time and time again, I have seen Him help me get in food when it seemed impossible, and He continues to carry me.

God has recently opened up an opportunity for me to see a new GI doctor. Though I am not necessarily expecting this to bring about significant new changes in treatment, answers, etc., God has opened this door through a friend, and I believe it would be wisdom and faith to see what He may have for me in it. My appointment is at 11:15 a.m. tomorrow morning.

Today, I need to work on updating medical history/records and notes and would be grateful for prayer that God would give clear and simple direction to me and my dad as we put these things together. I know that the Lord is able to highlight the things He wants shared tomorrow, and I need not strive and take on too much. I also need to continue to eat and persevere.

1 Corinthians 14:33 says, “For God is NOT a God of confusion but of peace….” The many voices of knowledge, counsel, symptoms, and potential answers can be deafening at times, but we serve a God Who does not bring confusion but peace. Would you join with me in asking Him to make that a living reality both today and tomorrow? He knows what He is doing.

Thank you, dear friends!

Even for temporal mercies you may wait upon God, for He careth for His children in these temporary concerns. As for spiritual necessities, which are the heaviest of all, the Lord will hear your cry and will deliver you and supply you.

O poor friend, try your rich God. O helpless one, lean on His help. He has never failed me, and I am sure He will never fail you. Come as a beggar, and God will not refuse you help. Come with no plea but His grace. Jesus is King; will He let you perish of wants What! Did you forget this? - Spurgeon

Health Update

Thank you all for rejoicing with me in God’s sustaining grace and all the kindnesses and mercies He has shown me. I have definitely experienced some good moments and even better days since I last updated, but I would not be honest if I didn’t say that the hard moments have also been pretty hard. But He has never let go, even when I have doubted Him. What a patient God we have, and I am so grateful that His hold on me is what matters in the end. I am so quick to let go.

I have seen some improvements with the overall effects of the bacterial issues, but it is hard to tell how much progress I’ve made as the symptoms can be confusing and overlap with so many others. There was a point over the past few weeks when I was barely able to get any nutrition in, and since that point God has enabled me to have days when I could eat more which is amazing. The big struggle has been that once I eat a bunch my system gets stuck and cannot digest it, and then I end up with several days of not being able to eat much at all and feeling pretty awful. In light of the serious place I’m in, I am going to try raw dairy again. It has been two months since I’ve had it, and since removing it, I lost weight, struggled more with getting food in, and just slipped backward in many areas.

On a praise note, I saw my primary care doctor last week, and my recent labwork shows that things are fairly normal which is amazing for my condition. He is sustaining.

So, here are ways to pray:

• For my body to do well with the raw goat milk products I am reintroducing (kefir and yogurt).
• For wisdom to know what to eat, whether to stick with goat dairy or to try cow dairy, what supplements to take, when to push through and when to hold back, etc.
• For contentment and self-control to eat according to what my body requires and not make unwise choices.
• For grace and strength to await His deliverance during the moments when it is most difficult to cope with my symptoms. Some of the hardest ones lately have involved neurological pains, strange sensations, and an inability to control my hands as they lock-up for a period of time.
• For endurance and joy.
• For continued guidance with doctors, those giving me counsel, and decisions on further testing/treatments.
• For grace for my family who gives so much to take care of me each day.
• That I might begin to more fully grasp what it means to be “united with Christ” and to live knowing that He has fully paid all my debts, and I belong to Him.
• That I would allow Jesus to be my Good Shepherd and provide for my needs rather than striving to figure everything out.
• That God would be greatly glorified and magnified in my weakness. He alone is “the Upholder of my life.”

God has been teaching me that He is the only One who can bring me safely through, and this trial will not last one moment longer than He intends. I so often think I know better and want to take things into my own hands, but how grateful I am that He is wiser than I.

Thank you for your prayers! They are felt. I look forward to sharing with you more in the days ahead as we see how He continues to provide.

“He is wonderful in counsel and excellent in wisdom.” – Isaiah 28:29

P.S. Thank you to those of you who prayed for Nathan. His seizures have lessened since you did, and he is better! We would still be grateful for your prayers, though.

So Many Kindnesses

The past few weeks have held many ups and downs, desperate moments, enduring moments, countless evidences of God’s faithfulness and deliverances, and a multitude of blessings. Through it all, I am slowly learning to trust Him more. And I continue to be humbled to be the recipient of your prayers, encouragement, and care. I am in awe at the way He sends help – just on time. He has given me such kind friends in each of you.

Today, I want to recount some of His incredible blessings and gifts. Tomorrow, I will put up more details on how you can pray for my health at this time, but for now, I wanted to recount His mercies and kindnesses.

Here are some ways I have been greatly blessed and encouraged lately:

• Welcoming spring!
• Celebrating Easter and the hope of new life and Christ’s resurrection which has transformed EVERYTHING.
• Receiving prayer from my pastors at their weekly prayer meeting.
• Finding grace to make it to multiple medical appointments back-to-back over several days.
• Seeking God for wisdom and direction about a particular decision and seeing Him answer.
• Receiving a verse from a friend at just the right moment.
• Finding rest in our backyard hammock which was discovered free on Craig’s List last year.
• Finding daily grace to take another step.
• Eating something that looked like a sandwich wrap (real food!)
  
• Receiving a much-needed dental examination and x-rays at no cost from a generous and kind dentist.
• Seeing how God sustains as He kept me and enabled me to keep eating when it seemed impossible.
• Enjoying a walk with a friend.
• Pink dogwood trees.
• Singing “Be Still My Soul” in church (the Lord gave me this hymn 10 years ago when I first started getting sick, and singing it reminds me of how He promised to bring me through in His timing.)
• Rejoicing with a friend at her healing from celiac, while watching her trust God and wait or Him for the bigger unanswered sorrows and questions in her life.
• Receiving prayer and words of truth from dear friends.
• Unexpected beautiful flowers from a friend.
• Being loaned a dress that fit which I will wear in a friend’s wedding next month.
• Seeing that He ALWAYS keeps His promises.
• Being reminded by a radio host on Good Friday that when things look the darkest incredible good is coming. In her words, “just look at the Cross.”
• Finding a beautiful Easter basket in my room – thanks to my sister.
• Eating chicken.
• Having several high calorie days.
• Eating “out” for the first time in a few years – parsnip soup from a grocery store!
  
• Slowly learning that it is HE “who will perfect that which concerns me” (Psalm 138:8) – not me.
• Meeting a friend’s little nephew and spending time with her one afternoon.
• Waking the other day with a particular verse in my head which I had not read in a long while and later on finding an email from a friend which shared that very passage and mentioned she had been praying. The time of the email coincided exactly with when I had been thinking of that verse. God ANSWERS our prayers.
  

And these are only a sampling of all He has done and continues to do! Yes, there have been moments when I thought I would not make it. Many moments when all I could do was hold on for dear life and wait for deliverance. But He never failed me. It may not be the way I would have chosen, but I am so glad that He knows better than I.

Note: My brother, Nathan, has been struggling greatly with multiple seizures yesterday and today. Would you all mind praying for him? Thank you so much!

“Let them thank the Lord for His steadfast love, for His wondrous works to the children of man!” – Psalm 107:31